Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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