Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Randomize
