theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
