oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
BRING THE BAGELS
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
