Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
