North Korea, Best Korea!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
