Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
