I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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