Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
