hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
