OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Randomize