My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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