So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
