i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
