I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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