I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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