Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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