fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I can't turn off my feet"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Holy shit dude........stairs
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