do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
