I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
