Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
