I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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