No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
