Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
