ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
