i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
