Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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