I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize