perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
