So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
