and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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