We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
