Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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