I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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