There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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