i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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