Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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