You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
