i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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