Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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