She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
