when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
