I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
