he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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