Can Purell be used as lube?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
