yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My feet surprised me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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