I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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