Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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