is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I had to cum in my sink.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
