Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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