she takes plan B like it's going out of style
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize