Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
