I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize