brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
