SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
