i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
