Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
