Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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