let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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