I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
