1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
