Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
