i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
