I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
