I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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