But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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