We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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