it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
