How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
